DENVER — If travel nurse Alexis Matthew crossed paths with sprinkler company owner Alex Walker on a dating app, its likely they wouldn't find much common ground.
"I'm 28 years old. I moved here a year ago," Matthew said. "I mostly use dating apps, occasionally meeting in the wild, but mostly dating apps."
Matthew is more liberal, while Walker is more conservative.
"In January, I'm joining the National Guard and getting shipped off to basic training," Walker said.
But one thing they do have in common is both are having an increasingly difficult time finding a match due political differences with potential partners.
Research shows a trend that young men and women are growing apart politically, and many don't want to cross the ideological divide.
"It doesn't help me if I don't agree with them politically," Matthew said.
"It has been a little difficult to try and find women that are more conservative and hold the same beliefs [I do]," Walker added.
The growing gender gap
When it comes to Generation Z, a recent Gallup poll showed that women are moving to the left politically as men are moving to the right.
A 2023 Survey from the American Enterprise Institute showed 46% of white GenZ women are liberal, while only 28% of men identify as liberal.
Jeremy Castle, associate professor of political science at Metropolitan State University of Denver, said it has been a significant shift since former President Donald Trump entered the political arena.
"It's really only in the past decade or so — with ultimately the Supreme Court's decision overturning Roe v. Wade and the election of Donald Trump and the Women's March — that we've seen social issues playing a bigger role in these differences between men and women on politics," Castle said.
Not crossing the divide
Those differences are front and center on dating apps, which report more people are sorting matches based on political affiliation.
Matthew, who does not list her political affiliation on dating apps, is one of those people using that tactic. She said LGBTQ rights and access to abortion.
"But I do judge people based upon what they put (on the app)," Matthew said. "If they put 'conservative' on their dating app, and they look conservative... I'm not going to match with them."
She is in good company: a 2023 survey shows 65% of Democrats said they would be less likely to date a Republican, and 62% of Republicans surveyed said they would be less likely to date a Democrat.
Alex Walker sort of falls into that group. He said he would consider dating a liberal woman.
"It's hard to find any conservative women right now," Walker said.
He said he recently was talking with a woman who identified as liberal and seemed to be a strong feminist.
"And I kind of felt useless in the relationship," he said.
Looking beyond labels
The bottom line, according to University of Denver Research Professor Galena Rhoades, is that there is an imbalance with many daters unwilling to swipe right across party lines.
"It's really become a deal breaker for people," said Rhoades, who studies what makes couples work.
She warns that political labels may not always reflect actual values.
"What we wind up highlighting in dating apps in particular may not be the things that matter most," Rhodes said. "So you may say, 'I won't date anybody who's less than 6 feet tall,' when, in fact, if you met someone who was 5-foot-6 (inches) in person, they might be a really good match for you, but you miss out if you don't give that person an opportunity to really connect and understand who you are at your core."
Rhoades said research shows people who identify the same way politically tend to have less conflict in marriage, but there are many other factors, such as how you manage differences and communicate, that influence how happy a couple is or whether they stay together.
Agreeing to disagree?
But for many people it's more complicated than agreeing to disagree.
"They're like you can just disagree, but you can still be friends," Matthew said. "But if my brother ever wants to get married, and you're trying to make that not happen, then that's a bigger deal to me, and it's not something I can just disagree with."
Walker agreed it's an issue of deeply held beliefs that affect families.
"I'm a Christian, and I believe what the Bible says," he said. "If we have men who are too feminine, then nothing is going to get done. You're not going to have strong families."
Still, it's also important to remember that people can change their minds. Research shows married couples tend to move closer together in terms of ideologies, Castle said.
One MSU Denver student said his now-wife was a major influence on his politics.
"Actually it was my wife that pulled me to the left. I was probably more of like a center-right kind of conservative," Allan Ash said. "Sometimes, they're right, and sometimes you're right."
