Editor's note: This story contains descriptions of domestic violence that may be disturbing to some readers. There are photographs of the survivor's injuries shown as well, at her request.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and for one Adams County woman, this is the first year in a decade where she finally feels safe.
This summer, 39-year-old Tomas Bandera was sentenced to 30 years in prison after he pleaded guilty to the first-degree assault of his pregnant ex-girlfriend.
Bandera was facing attempted murder, a Class 2 Felony, which carries a sentencing range of 16-48 years in prison. He plead to the lesser charge of first-degree assault, a Class 3 Felony, as an act of domestic violence. First-degree assault carries a mandatory prison sentence of 10-32 years. The plea deal changed that range in this case to 25-32 years in prison. The judge sentenced Bandera to 30 years.
The attack happened on May 26, 2023. Denver7 spoke with the survivor, who wished to remain anonymous, but shared her story hoping it would help others trapped in the cycle of domestic violence.
The History
“I got to this point because I was with someone for 10 years, and in those 10 years, I didn't set a boundary of how I was going to allow him to treat me," the survivor said. “I was just accepting whatever came along because I fell in love with someone.”
The survivor told Denver7, the abuse worsened over the years.
“How it started would be like, he'd call me names. Then it would turn into cheating, and then it would turn into just like, using you like you were just a dog," she said. “He just kept going, going until one day I was done, and I was like, I'm done. I'm not doing it anymore."
In September of 2022, she ended the relationship with Bandera for the last time. The survivor said he moved out of their home, but stalked her.
"I would catch him. I would come home, and he would have came through my back door, standing in my dining room," she explained. “You don't just get to walk away. You don't just get a breakup.”
In December of 2022, the survivor tried to protect herself through the judicial system.
“I asked for a full protection order, and the judge told me I could have a no-contact order because he deserved to have parenting rights, and I tried to fight it, because he never came to see the kids," she said. “He [Bandera] told me whether I got a restraining order or not — it's a piece of paper.”
She recommends other individuals dealing with domestic violence still file a protection order, despite what happened in her case. The survivor assumed the no-contact order would be enough to help her, since Bandera was already on probation for domestic violence related to a prior misdemeanor assault on her.
Ultimately, Bandera continued to stalk the survivor and violated the conditions of the protection order, according to the 17th Judicial District Attorney's Office, which prosecuted the case.
When the survivor filed the no-contact order, she was pregnant. It was not Bandera's child and the two were not in a relationship at the time.
The Attack
In May of 2023, the survivor said Bandera came to her and asked for help.
“He was like, 'Can you please help me out?' Because he wasn't, he didn't have a job at the time. He had just lost his job. He was doing day labor, and he said 'I got an eviction from my landlord because I didn't pay the rent.' And I said, you know, all I can do is help. I said, but it needs to be clear that we're not in a relationship. We're not together," the survivor recalled.
She allowed Bandera to stay with her at that time. She said the deal was that he would get a job within two weeks.
"Because instead of that coming, then it comes to where he almost killed me that day — on the 26th of May," she said.
Her doorbell camera captured Bandera walking inside the home ahead of her on the morning of May 26, 2023. He told the camera 'I love you so much' before walking through the front door.
Images from her home show the aftermath of the assault.
The survivor said Bandera accused her of making pornographic videos — which she did not do — and then struck her in the face with his phone.
"I went to go stand up, and he kicked me flat on my face, broke my nose and my left eye immediately closed," she said. “When I went to try to stand up again, he had a chair, a little antique wooden chair that was for the kids. And he beat my head with that chair multiple times.”
Her hand was broken in the attack while she tried to shield her head and neck. The survivor said, Bandera also used a box cutter during the assault.
"I didn't feel anything on my face get cut, just because it was so swollen. But I felt the ones in my arm. I didn't know exactly what it was. I had so much pain, and I don't know where he cut first," she remembered. “I do know the last part he cut was in my back, and he marked X's in my back.”
Bandera grabbed her keys and left the house, according to the survivor.
“I had 2% on my phone, by the grace of God, that phone let me call the cops. I sat on my stairs, and I was able to make a phone call last on 2% for five minutes for the ambulance to get to my house," she said. “I told them, I'm pregnant, and they rushed me."
In her 911 call, she pleaded with dispatchers to send help quickly, saying she's "bleeding everywhere."
Bandera also called 911. He told dispatch he "just hurt the love of his life" and that they "need to go save her." He continues, in the same breath, to use profanities when describing the survivor.
The survivor remembered praying to live while she was in the hospital — where she ended up spending a total of three days. Her baby survived despite the attack and a premature birth.
“When I woke up out of the operating room, I looked up and I smiled because I shouldn't have walked out of that house at all," she said. “All I knew is that he beat the hell out of me, and I didn't know, like, what happened after that? I knew he went to jail, but I didn't know what happens.”
She believes Bandera attacked her because he could not accept the end of their relationship.
“The violence has to stop somewhere, and making an excuse of 'This is what I grew up in. This is the way I was shown love.' It's not an excuse, because you can break a cycle if you want to," she said. “I wasn't going to back down and be like, you know how I let him, allowed him to treat me like the way he did before. This wasn't going to happen. I wasn't backing down.”
The Sentence
The survivor finally feels safe, knowing Bandera will spend 30 years in prison.
"I can walk out of the door and know that he's not coming. I can go to the kids' school and know like, 'Hey, he's not there.' It's a great feeling," she said. “Sounds messed up, but it's the best year of my life.”
It's a difficult story to tell, but the survivor is doing so, hoping someone hears it who needs to.
“It's not just me, you know, there's millions of women, even men, that are stuck in this position. People that I work with, people that I know, older than me, younger than me, still stuck in this cycle because you love somebody, but love's not supposed to hurt and they're not supposed to hurt you," the survivor said. “People think that since we keep taking them back, or we're accepting of it... they always made comments like, 'Well, you deserve it,' or 'You took them back. You did this. You do that.' It's not easy. It's hard to walk away.”
Her situation was made even more difficult because she did not have family to help her leave.
“If you're someone who doesn't have family, you don't have a shelter to go to, it's not that easy. Because you're playing their game, all the mean things they do to you, the evil things they say, you're going to play that game until you can get out," she said. “I just hope they see a single mom with bunch of kids — you can still do it, like, you can get out and you can make something of it.”
She said, she is proof that becoming a survivor of domestic violence is possible.
“Loving the wrong person can get you killed," she said. “I made it out pregnant and have a one year old baby who made it out perfectly fine.”
The Solution
The case was prosecuted by the 17th Judicial District Attorney's Office, which serves Adams and Broomfield Counties. Brian Mason, the district attorney, said sexual assault and domestic violence cases are extremely difficult to prosecute.
"They are fraught with emotion. They are fraught with complicated evidence, often sometimes complicated relationships between victims and their abusers," Mason said. “Domestic violence in particular is a scourge in every community, and those who suffer from domestic violence often really struggle with whether or not they wish to report it and wish to cooperate with law enforcement.”
According to Mason, his office has an estimated 30,000 cases at any given time. Domestic violence cases make up a "significant proportion" of that caseload.
He is proud of the survivor in Bandera's case.
“This is an egregious, egregious case. The defendant's assault on this now survivor is unspeakable and horrific, and the fact that anyone would assault a pregnant woman in this manner is just completely unacceptable in this society," Mason said.
Mason is working to bring a Family Justice Center to his district. Essentially, the center would act as a one-stop-shop for victims and survivors to receive the resources they need to escape a domestic violence relationship.
“We put a huge burden on victims of domestic violence to try to get to all the places that they need to go, to get the services that they need. And because of that, it puts victims and survivors at greater risk," Mason explained. “When a victim tries to get out, that's an exceptionally dangerous time. That's when we see our highest number of domestic violence fatalities.”
Mason said that every jurisdiction with a Family Justice Center has experienced a decrease in domestic violence homicides.
Currently, stakeholders are working on fundraising to make the Family Justice Center a reality.
"Our goal is to have a temporary Family Justice Center open sometime in the next nine to 12 months, and then to have a permanent facility in the next four to five years," Mason said. “What's paramount is to have a place where everybody who has become a victim or is a survivor of domestic violence knows that they can go and be safe, and that's what a Family Justice Center is all about.”
There are two other Family Justice Centers in Colorado, according to Mason. Those are the Rose Andom Center in Denver and PorchLight in Jefferson County.
The 17th Judicial District has resources for sexual and domestic violence online.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available through Violence Free Colorado or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.